Of pineapples, dinosaurs and Lanuza

Gurriel’s OFFENSIVE LINE is a pitiful .215 AVE/.268 OBP/.364 SLUG, in all cases well below his seven-year performance in the league (.287/.331/.458). Add to that his WAR is negative (-0.3) and he has just 18 tows in 228 at-bats. The Astros management, and manager Dustin Baker, have placed all their confidence in the West Indian, so much so that they have not revoked his starting job, but, and I don’t want to be a prophet of doom, that could change very soon if there is not a radical change. On the surface, Gurriel has time to adjust, perhaps a conversation with his father Lourdes (an extraordinary player in the National Series and the famed Cuba teams of the 80’s and 90’s of the last century) could reverse the trend and open the way to a new deal with the institution given that he will be a 38 year old free agent (almost 39) for the 2023 season.

LET’S BE FAIR Aaron Boone, manager of the New York Yankees, did not compare reliever Clay Holmes to legendary Panamanian slugger Mariano Rivera. Some have wanted to belittle the words of the Bronx Mules’ helmsman, but no, the former catcher, who hosted Mariano in his glory years, did not dare to put Holmes on the same level as Mariano. He appealed to the name of his former teammate, the only one to be unanimously inducted into the Cooperstown Hall of Fame, because Holmes pushed Mariano’s franchise-record 28-inning scoreless streak to 29 innings. Boone acknowledged that “both have the ability to break a lot of bats. Clay with his sinker to right-handers, and Mariano made a living doing that against lefties with his cutter,” he told Yes Network. Nothing more than that, the rest…is balloons.

PREPARE YOUR BUTCHERS because a new soap opera is coming to the home of the Bronx Mules. Closer Aroldis Chapman is close to returning and Clay Holmes’ impressive performance as a firefighter opens the question: who will assume the role of the team’s closer? Don’t ask me, I’ll leave that “dead” to Aaron Boone, for that they pay him a lot of money. I, in the meantime, am going to leave you with Chapman’s diplomatic statements after doing a bullpen section last Tuesday. “I don’t see it (losing the closer’s job) that way. I’m past that point in my career where I would fight for a role, for the closer’s role, I’m past that. When I got to the majors, I was given the opportunity to close and I took advantage of the opportunity. Pretty much the same thing is happening to (Holmes). If he has that role, it’s because he’s doing well. I’m here, trying to recover, come back, be well, healthy, help the team in any way, in any role. (Holmes) is doing an excellent job right now and I think he deserves the role he has.” One detail, Chapman signed for $85 million to be the Yankees closer, anyone who thinks he’ll give up his spot just like that is in for a surprise.

I ASSUME AGAIN the role of translator to pull out of the fire the Dominican Manny Ramirez, who has been vilified in social networks for saying that, if Derek Jeter had played in Kansas City, he would surely have been a regular ballplayer. As expected, on social networks everyone went for the jugular of the controversial ballplayer who said that phrase in a broadcast of the NESN network shortly after being exalted to the Hall of Fame of the Boston Red Sox. But the sentence of discord was taken out of context and nothing could be further away than to denigrate the great Yankee ‘Captain’. “You have to understand this, if you haven’t played in Boston or New York, you’re not in the big leagues…it’s like if you put Jeter in Kansas City in those years, he was just a regular player,” Ramirez said. What Manny meant is that playing with the New York and Boston fans is a plus that makes players, including Jeter and himself, greater.

I’M MAKING A MEA CULPA, I didn’t see the video when it was originally posted. Although that won’t stop me from using it in this column, especially now that it has resurfaced due to the retirement of famed soccer player Rob Gronkowski. I confess that I “discovered” it on Instagram thanks to the version of ‘La Melaza’, the former Dominican baseball player José Reyes. That’s how I stumbled upon this advertising gem, where David Ortiz shows his indescribable singing skills, only comparable to those of Nicaraguan, Latin American and world music phenomenon Israel Lanuza. Papi surprises in the video singing bachata… and that’s it. Why go on with the trova if you can see it for yourself and, a secret, I would pay to see a duet between Big Papi and Israel Lanuza, sure, sure, they would break the charts.